Saturday, 22 July 2017

Some Kind of Urgency

Sitting in a restaurant with no doors in Chinatown, Sydney, over a bowl of some kind of hot condensed milk, coconut dessert, my mum asks me why I always seem to want more.  At this age it's all about new things, bigger and better.  She asks me why I must go out every day - busy busy busy - and why I can't just stop for a moment - rejuvenate, reflect.  What is the rush to leave home, to spend money as soon as it's acquired, to have lists and lists of things to do and things to obtain.  How will I ever be happy?

Content is the magic word.  It is also a state of mind so out of reach.  There is always someone, something, something missing from what would otherwise be a perfect life, out there - and my brain is always reaching - stuck in a cycle of constant raging highs and lows.  When everything is going right, when everything should be perfect; my mind is so accustomed to worrying, to obsessing, to thinking ahead.  What do I need next?

So it's time to sit, and simply be happy.  Life is not about ticking boxes, because they can never all be ticked.  And honestly, sometimes things happen that you never thought would be on your list - that makes up for it.  It's not about what you don't have or the green eyed monster.  It's about friends, family, food, learning and dreams.  It's always about dreams.



  1. This is so sweet and encouraging. It's always about dreams. Your last sentence is special to me.

  2. I relate, I am always pushing myself harder. Trying to squeeze everything out of my life that sometimes I forget to simply enjoy.

  3. This is so encouraging! Thanks for this <3

  4. Sometimes I think we're just so used to being part of some kind of race, I'll call it 'tuning'. As soon as we're done with one thing, we have to move on to the other. We do, but we forget in between that it's okay to slow down a bit and take everything in and just be in the present.
    I love how you put what you felt into words.

    -Kathie K
    Half A World Away

  5. This post is so beautiful, I'd never contemplated life in this way. Thank you for this.

    Kate x

  6. Wow, this. Contentment can be so elusive. But you brought it down to what I've thought for a while now: it's a choice. Thanks for this, M. Stay open, stay free, and keep dreaming. xx

  7. I'm exactly the same, I'm always striving for the next new thing when I should be sitting back and reflecting more often. This was an important reminder, thank you!

    Lauren | Sincerely, Lauren Emily

  8. I have missed you too much! I tried the coconut dessert as well as the mango one, but I didn't like them much. Being content is really hard when you're always thinking about your next move, but reflecting is definitely a keep part of remembering what you already have and being content with it x

    Neriah | My Life In A Tab

  9. This was beautifully written. loved it

    x leah x

  10. Needed this post. So SO true, and I've had similar conversations with my mother. Currently I'm thinking of things I need to get ready for college and blah blah blah but the things I want [because I randomly started thinking about like birthday gifts and christmas gifts and whatever lol] are *experiences*, chances, stabs at dreams.

    I'm with you on this one.