Every personality test I have ever taken has told me that I'm more logical than creative. According to them I'm more inclined to live a life of logic than one of vibrant art and ridiculously exaggerated meaningfulness. But then, maybe that's because I always give answers that I know will lead me to that outcome. My entire life has revolved around the basis of maths and science, and it probably will continue to, but I think I'm going through a phase where I'm so sick and tired of it all.
While writing that previous paragraph I moved to five different locations, looking for a place where I could write in silence. Downstairs there was this clock which just. kept. ticking; outside there was this immensely irritating fly; and from everywhere in the house I can hear the subtle noise of a drill coming from some form of construction a while away. It's strange how you don't hear these noises under normal circumstances, but when all you want is silence, every little sound becomes irritating. I need the silence because I feel like creating accurate streams of words relies on concentration. I guess in that sense I really am more logical than creative, because I can't spurt streams of meaningful, artistic words on a whim without thinking.
Lately the cliche idea of being artistic has been strangely appealing. There's those excessively tumblr, aesthetic, minimalistic themed looks like Brooklyn Beckham's instagram account; there's the girls in hoodies and doc martens with their hipster glasses; there's the deep and meaningful people who write oh-so-deep-and-meaningful works of art; there's the indie people listening to their indie music; there's the seemingly intellectual people who pretentiously 'love' the classics - but when I think of this all I think is fake. Even if it's not fake, all I see is a try-hard mechanism because each of these supposed self-expressions seem like such a cliche.
This morning I took a science test before coming home to watch Stuck In Love, which is a creation about creators. Even though I don't know what they mean, those last lines of the movie are absolutely beautiful.
I could hear my heart beating. I could hear everyone's heart. I could hear the human noise we sat there making, not one of us moving, not even when the room went dark.I just think it was the perfect way to end the movie. And when the screen went dark, I didn't move for a while, because I was thinking about the 'not one of us moving' bit. I mean, how genius is that? Something about the noun 'human noise' also sounds so honest.
Now, if anyone were to be the perfect example of creators, I'd say it's the fictional characters in that movie. I love the idea of living on a beautiful beach, being able to write outdoors or inside the topmost wooden bedroom with a lovely view. The only problem, I guess, is that to be a writer you actually need to be good at writing.
The other day my mum brought home a copy of the latest Vogue Australia because Taylor Swift is on the cover. I love the profiles Vogue writers do on influential celebrities and models, because they're always so perfectly written. That's the thing when it comes to writing: you need to be able to convey your message wholly and eloquently.
In my case, I can't help but think that my words aren't smooth enough. I'm not telling you what I mean. I don't know if you understand because it's so difficult to put ideas and complicated concepts into words. It's even harder to convey feelings. Maybe that's why people write poetry - because it's a way to show feelings without having to be specific. They list words to create an overall mood, and the rest is up to the reader to interpret. But I don't think I'll ever become a poet, because there's a fine line between feeling real and feeling stupid.
Flipping through the rest of the Vogue issue all I saw was fashion, and more fashion. I love the glossy look of the magazine, and I love the words they use, but I can't say I understand much. I can see myself being someone who could love fashion, but I don't.
I did find this article on Kate Winslet and her new movie The Dressmaker though. She says something about always being driven by the creative, about having the desire to act in works of art, incredible projects. I feel like eventually all actors get to this stage - according to a lot of their personal interviews anyway - because once they get over the idea of being what they are, they begin to see what they can make of their chosen career, how much deeper they can go. The same goes for the rest of us and everything we do. We begin to get attached.
Kate also talks about needing experience to be able to invent the characters she plays. I guess in some ways acting would involve a whole lot of experiences in itself, because sometimes playing make believe can become real if you're doing it right. Bill, the father from Stuck In Love, says something similar: "Flannery O'connor said nothing needed to happen in a writer's life after they were 20. By then they'd experienced more than enough to last their creative life." he said, "A writer is the sum of his experiences."
That's what I think creating is. Creating is just what people do to show their experiences, the feelings they've felt, the things that mattered to them. We notice so many different aspects to people and culture, and I feel like we all deserve to use what we observe to create a message, 'a window to our soul', which is another line from Stuck in Love.
So when it comes to creating and cliches, I reckon what's real is when people mean it and understand it. Creations are made when people put their full excitement and knowledge and logic behind a work of art.