Friday, 23 January 2015

The Oldest Documents

Lately I've had an obsession with the past.  I've been stalking old primary school buddies on instagram, working up the courage to follow their private accounts, and working up the nerve to allow them to follow me back, allowing them to see my present day self too.  Today I went to spontaneously visit a girl down the road who goes to the same school as many of them, who told me about what happens at her school, who gave me a little insight as to what it's like.


It's interesting.  We're all so different now.  Any of us could've taken any path, and here we are.  There's 'sluts' both mean and nice, there's people who voluntarily call themselves 'nerds', there's the girls with bikini selfies, peppy girls jumping and rowing and dancing, girls who show off their friends as much as possible in group photos, girls with kissing photos, girls with themselves kissing other girls, rich girls, unhealthily skinny girls, girls that now smoke, girls posting suicidal quotes, and a whole tonne of black eye liner.


And then there's me.  What would they say I've become?  Am I 'rich' because I go to a private school?  Am I a snob?  Am I a 'nerd' because I don't party or smoke or post red eyeballs from taking shots?  I know I've changed, but I don't think they could tell anything about me unless they ask someone.  That's the beauty of social media.  You can post as little as you want.


And I'm sure there are girls I'm completely cut off from.  They're the ones with no social media, who I only hear snippets of in the stories I'm told.

But let's back track to 2006 and 2007, when we were all 6 and 7 years old.  By then we'd already started having 'crushes' on boys, but I still reckon we had no idea who we were or who we would become.

I'm not sure if any of them have writing from back when they were that age.  But I know I do.  Earlier today I was exploring the files on the study computer, and I found folders within folders marked 2006 and 2007.  It turns out that as a six year old I was a story writer.  And at seven I began writing letters, telling people what I'd been doing.  It's interesting seeing the innocence in your grammatically incorrect writing, having a snippet of the way your mind was thinking.  And I reckon we all thought that way before the complications and stereo-types of society got in the way.


Cat Story (2006)

Once there was a cat.  She had no friends.  So she had a look arownd.  Her name was Sara.  But there was no one to play with.  So she had a walk.  But there was no one to play with.  But then there was a big dog.  He did not like cats.  Sara did not like dogs.  The dogs name was Ben.  Sara was scared of dogs because dogs chase her.  But Sara had an idear so she said could I be your friend?  But Ben did not want to be a cats friend.  So he said I do not want to be your friend.  So Sara got sad.  But then a cat came by.  Her name was Lucy.  And they both said can I be your friend?  So they both said yes.  Because Lucy had no friends too.  So they shared oners (owners).  So they both became best friends.  they did evry thig (everything) together.  But some times they fite.  But mostly they do evry thig together.  The End.

So I guess that's how friendship worked in those days.  Cats are friends with cats because dogs scare them (that may have been a metaphor for boys but I could be reading in too far).  It's just a matter of asking, "Can I be your friend?" or "Can I play with you?" because that's how things were done.  Friends should fight but do everything together.  That must've been my view on a perfect friendship at six years old.


Lucy's little sister (2006)

Once there was a girl named Lucy.  Lucy has a little sister named Sophie.  Sophie and Lucy have a baby sister named Jessica.  Jessica likes to play with toys.  One day Sophie and Lucy met a unicorn.  The unicorn said I have no food.  Lucy and Sophie went to the shops.  Lucy and Sophie lost all their money.  But then a fairy came and gave the unicorn food.  So the unicorn and fairy and Lucy and Sophie are friends and play with toys.  The end.

Society must've hit me already, with the whole unicorn and fairy stereo-types locked in my mind from all those picture books I must've been reading.  But it's nice to see the innocence in my writing.  Maybe that was how I felt about my little sister at the time.  That we'd go on adventures together.


The Beach (2006)

Once there was a girl.  Her name was Lucy.  One day she went to the beach with her big sister named Sara and Lucy's mum named Jessica and Lucy's little sister named Davina.  At the beach they went swimming.  Davina did not know how to swim.  They made a big sandcastle.  Davina did not know how to make a sandcastle.  They played games.  Davina did not know how to play games.  When they got home they went to bed.

Okay, so obviously I wasn't very good with making up names seeing as I've used Lucy, Sara and Jessica in multiple of my previous stories, and Davina is someone I actually know.  I must've been angry at Davina when I wrote this, which is honestly a very likely possibility.  Davina, I hope you never find out about my blog because this is embarrassing.

Some time in 2006 I moved from Melbourne to Canberra, leaving behind my best friend at the time.  I may as well tell you her name was Jessica, seeing as I used it in my stories and it's a pretty common name anyway.  I just wanna create some authenticity, you know?  Anyway, in 2007 I started writing letters to her, even though I'm pretty sure she never got them.  Maybe my mum was trying to get me to start journaling or something.


Dear Jessica

I hope you have a good time in the Gold Coast.  When you go to the Gold Coast you might see Elvis because I saw him.  I am sure you will have fun.  Do you think you will have fun?  What class are you going to?  I miss Melbourne.  But I still like Canberra.  I am having a great time in Canberra.  Do you know how to dive yet?  I know how to dive in shallow water.  When I go swimming I dive under the water fall.  Oh sorry I have to go.

Bye from M

The move was really hard on me, but not as daunting seeing as I was so young.  But if a year later I could still miss Melbourne, I must've hated it a little.  I did seem proud at myself for finally sucking up the courage to put my head under the water though.


DEAR JESSICA
I MISS YOU SO MUCH.  HOW ARE YOUR FRIENDS GOING?  I MISS Melbourne.  I am glad we live in Australia.  I just have to tell you I really want you to say hi to Dechen (I think I spelt her name wrong so it's okay to mention it).  How was Christmas?  How is the Gold coast?  I am having a great time in Canberra.  How was your 7th birthday?  My 7th birthday was great.  My sister is turning 5 on February the 3rd.  Kisses and cuddles from M.

I must've been missing my old friends... I didn't realise a seven year old could gain attachments and relationships like that.  Maybe I wasn't so clueless after all.


Dear Jessica
I hope you're having a good time at school.  Have you been doing well at school?  I wish you happy days at school.  I miss you so much and I know you miss me so much too.  How are all my other friends?  It was a shame I didn't come to your 7th birthday party.  I have met some new friends and my best ones are MT and EH.  I have not sent many letters to you.  I have herd that your teacher is C again.  Who is in your class?  How are your mum and dad?  What have you been doing at school?  I miss Melbourne.  How many teeth have you lost?  Have you met any new friends?  Say hi to your family and my old friends.  Love M.

It looks like little M has moved on a little.  It's funny how blatantly I can say who my 'favourite' friends are, and if she's made any new friends.  I would be way too scared to say things like that now.  I do remember MT and EH's last names, hence the second initial.  They're two of those primary school friends I've recently followed, and they've most definitely changed.  Jessica has too.  I wonder if she has instagram.  I guess I'll have to ask next time I see her ;)

I also found this cute little thank you letter I must've written around the time, thanking people for coming to my birthday party.


Dear A, Davina, EH, G, H, MS, PM, RN and ZF

Thank you for coming to my 7th birthday party at the zoo, and for all the lovely presents that you brought for me.

I hope you all had a good time at the zoo feeding the emu and giraffe.  The tigers refuse to come to Dr Zoo little as they were too hot to move from their tree shade.  It was a very hot day.

Love
M


And now I'm looking at where these people have gone now...

Half of them I still talk to occasionally, and half of them I don't.  Only two of them have disappeared in terms of what I know, but there's always instagram for the rest ;)

I wonder if I had done things differently, if we would still be friends?

But I'm sorry to say some of them are a little stuffed up, and I love the friends I have now <3

You can't start a new chapter of your life if you're still rereading the last one.  It's time to live in the present.

Love,
M

40 comments:

  1. Very very inspiring! Made me think! :D

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    1. I'm glad it did Evelyn. I think I think too much about this kind of stuff...

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  2. This was so inspiring and I loved reading it! I love how you included little stories and things you wrote. We were all so innocent when we were little, that if we'd known back then what we'd become I don't know whether we'd be happy or scared. Probably both.

    I don't see myself anything either. If anything, maybe I'm the nerd, but honestly what is the use of these labels?

    Have a lovely weekend! X Cloudy Dreams

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    1. Thanks Yasmine! Haha I was a pretty sucky writer back then but all the same I'm glad I wrote something or there'd be less reminiscing to do. I reckon if I'd known I still wouldn't have a clue. We're too complicated now. We're too complicated for a label, but if that's how people see us, I guess it does matter a little bit. But you can put yourself under any label you want, honestly. You have a lovely weekend too!! xx

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    2. Hey M! I totally agree: when I was younger I couldn't write at all either, but if I hadn't, I wouldn't be slightly better now. :) Just dropped by to let you know I tagged you for a Grateful Blogger Tag! I hope you'll do it! x CLICK

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    3. Aha I guess the writing back then did make me improve, kind of, maybe a little. Maybe I knew I would like writing back then. Maybe I realised it before I decided to realise it last year. Thanks for the tag! I'm checking it out now ;)

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  3. I really enjoyed reading this post. Funny how people all end up doing their own thing, isn't it? I'm eighteen and in college now, so when I look back at my friends from when I was six... Let's say we've all changed so much that we don't even recognize one another if we were to meet at the bus stop (actually happened yesterday, when I was at the bus stop one of my classmates from 2nd grade didn't recognize me at all).
    The stories are so cute. I think it's very funny how you used the same names over and over. You must've really liked those names ;)
    The letters are very relatable to me. I wrote letters when I was eight to my friend in the States. She'd write back weeks later and then I'd write something silly again, mostly about what I'd eaten for breakfast. Looking back on those letters, I realize most of it was about food :P

    x Envy
    Picking up the Pieces

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    1. Haha. Oh our priorities back in the day. Food was pretty important for me too ;)
      I was just at the mall the other day and I must've seen at least three people I knew from a while back. I'm pretty sure they all would've recognised me so I just hid, although I know one of them saw me. Talk about awkward.
      As for those names, yeah Lucy seems to pop up a lot. She was a real person. And so were Sara, Davina and Jessica. Although I have no idea if Sophie existed. ;)
      Maybe those letters really were sent...

      Thanks for this lovely comment Envy xx

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  4. So true. It instilled a burst of nostalgia and took me back into my past. Love your blog M!

    Just followed you:))

    Happy blogging <3

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    1. Nostalgia is a lovely feeling while also being a little sad, always leading to a question of 'what if?' Thanks Sonal!! <3

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  5. Such a sweet post!
    www.daisyperson.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks!! Such a sweet comment xx

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  6. This was so sweet. It brought me back to the past and now I wish I would have written more stories and journal entries. Reflecting on my past is something I'm fond of doing,I just wish I'd kept a memory box or something. By the way I thought that unicorn story was brilliant.

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    1. Memory boxes and journals are all great, but they can also make you kinda sad and wistful, holding you back. Haha I'm glad you noticed my six year old brilliance ;) Jokes. Thanks for this lovely comment <3

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  7. I absolutely love this post. When I finished primary school I moved on to a bigger high school with none of my friends and then onto a private school. This post has really made me look back at all the memories I have of primary and my best and worst ones. I have had a few laughs to myself. Great blog most, as always!
    Please check out my blog, I recently did a post I would love you to be a part of xx
    Another Teen On The Web

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    1. Thanks so much! Haha I guess moving schools does that to you. You meet all kinds of people that you still kinda know in the future, but drift away from all the same, making you wonder about them and yourself all those years ago. I guess as we grow older we'll have more of these people that come and go, and we'll remember more good and bad moments. Thanks so much!! I'm definitely interested to be a part of it ;)

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  8. Oh, my, gosh, I did the exact same thing when I was younger! Ah, the nostalgia it brings. I do the same thing on Instagram, too; I try to follow people that I knew from elementary and see if they would follow back.

    xoxo Morning

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    1. Haha yeah. Nostalgia is the worst and best feeling and I really need to stop. Instagram is amazing, but I got facebook earlier this week and that thing is a miracle.

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  9. cool i like your costum very nice very cool very cute mampir ya ke toko online baju bola www.enkosa.com

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  10. Lovely pictures!
    xx

    http://losaway.blogspot.com

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  11. Oh wow, that must have been lovely to find! I remember writing a story when I was younger, but it's long gone now. I used to write many on paper but did one on the computer too.

    Corinne x
    www.skinnedcartree.com

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    1. It was pretty weird actually. Seeing as I don't remember writing any of them. It's a pity your story is gone, but hey, wouldn't it be cool to find it in the recycle bin section of your computer, or printed or saved on some random USB ;)

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  12. Wonderful post, love it. ^^
    Lovely greets Ness

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  13. Aw aw aw dude this post >< When I was 11ish I moved from Wales to England where I knew absolutely no one, so I kind of know how you felt.

    Amy;
    Little Moon Elephant

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    1. Thanks Amy. I'm glad you like it. Moving really is pretty traumatizing yet okay for primary school kids...

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  14. What a lovely post to read! xx
    fashionismyfirstlanguage.blogspot.ie

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  15. How amazing that you still have all of these old stories you used to write! That is so special and I hope that you get to keep the original wobbly, big worded hand-written stories forever!

    Amazing - you have such a stunning imagination and you're writing is still amazing! You have a lovely blog indeed!!

    Hope to keep in touch x

    http://mystery-girl007.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thanks!! It is pretty cool that I've got so much writing and so many photos documented, I guess. I will definitely check out your blog now x

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  16. You are SO lucky you've kept all of these stories from when you were a kid. I wish I had done that. I used to have notebooks filled front and back, bursting with these gorgeous fantasy stories (now I can't write fantasy even if I tried!!! It used to come so easily didn't it!?) but hey.. now I have two published books and am busy working on a third!

    You obviously have a talent :)

    Just followed you on GFC, Bloglovin, Instagram and Twitter xxx

    www.bohemianmuses.blogpot.com

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    1. Well I suppose it would be nice if you'd kept your notebooks, and I guess fantasy must be every child's dream, and we write about what we dream about, right? And I guess you dream about different things now, and you must be good at writing them down if you've got 3 published books! Congratulations! Being an author sounds like an awesome job. I wouldn't say I have enough talent to be one though ;) Thank for the follows. I'm checking out your blog now xx

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  17. I agree with everything...people change, whether we like it or not:/ but at the end of the day, they'll still be lovely people that genuinely care for ya ;) *wink wink*

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    1. Ah Juney. Honestly, I'm so much closer to you than I ever was to any of those primary school friends, so I know I'll like you forever and ever, no matter how much you change. We'll be one of those friends from ages ago who still keep in contact, no matter where in the world we may be.

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  18. This was such a clever idea for a post. I loved reading all the stories you wrote however I was a bit concerned about why you were writing about a cat with no friends that coincidently has the same name as me spelt correctly when you were 6/7 and didn't know me... Anyway I have wasted so much time over the years reading all my disturbing stories I wrote when I was little, especially one which was an Agent Cody banks fanfiction back when I didn't know what fanfiction was... Anyway it's weird looking back at all your friends from primary school who you no longer communicate with, I have a picture from my 9th Birthday Party and was shocked at the people I invited to that, I literally talk to none of them now.

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    1. Thanks Sara. Haha my cousin's name is Sara without a h as well, so that's how I thought it was spelt at the time. And Sara the cat met a perfect best friend in the end, but that doesn't matter because you have plenty already. Ahaha writing fan fiction at such a tender age ;) You know Sara, I didn't really contact my old friends for a long time either, but it's still okay to contact them out of the blue on facebook or any social media you can find them on. They'll remember you.

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