Disappointment is a soul sucking, life-changing, strength-challenging experience, and it absolutely sucks. I've found that as human beings, we pride ourselves on what we're good at. Our talents and un-mediocreness in any particular area begins to become a huge part of who we are, and that's not a bad thing [or else, how would we have drive?]. However, with every expectation we take the high risk of disappointment, and when that one thing you've subconsciously decided defines you as anything special gets taken away, well, what are you left with?
That one talent, that one huge part of your existence, has the power to completely crush you. It's like when Rachel lost her voice in that episode of Glee, or when Rory Gilmore was told that she 'didn't have it' at her journalism internship. It's like when Serena replaces Blair as Queen Bee. Without that one thing you let define you, who even are you?
Well, you're a lot of things. You're the bundle of morals and ideas that make you think the way you do. You're the person who is loved by all your friends and family, who can charm people into loving you. You are your personality, your creative abilities, your love for food and sport and sunshine. You may not be numero uno in anything in particular, but you are so much more than that.
Letting something define you is like putting yourself in a little prison. You're not considering anything alternative. You're making excuses as to why other aspects of your life don't need working on, because you're special because of that one thing. You don't need anything else.
I guess in a way, accepting mediocrity means trying even harder, because I don't think we could ever truly accept mediocrity. Nobody wants to be average, insignificant, and that's basically the definition of mediocre. Accepting that you are not special for one aspect of yourself causes you to strive for more elsewhere to compensate.
Think about all the people you'd meet if you made the effort. Think about the pieces you could write or the pictures you could paint [They may be 'mediocre' but who cares? Maybe they won't be]. Think about how well you might end up dressing if you get off your high horse and start thinking 'shallow' thoughts about the aesthetics on the outside. Well, wouldn't you be pretty?
Venture outside that one thing that defines you and you'll be outrunning mediocrity. There are exciting things to come, my friend.
On a tangent, look at all those possibilities looming ahead. I am a sixteen year old girl, so it may be my age that is giving me this tingling feeling of anticipation. I am narcissistic and will ask you, 'Where do you see me in the future?'
"I see you scheming to cheat the world of their money. You'll be working in a huge consulting firm, half-assing your job and selling stuffed up systems to people." Thanks dad. He doesn't really know me anyway, but maybe I'll touch on that some time else.
"I see you as the editor of a huge magazine. You know, those typical live in New York types." I absolutely wish.
Whatever it is, we'll all get what we want some day, and I can't wait. All I know is that I want to dress well and take it all with grace. Wouldn't it be nice to sparkle?
Maybe mediocrity isn't in the cards after all.