I've been watching a lot of movies lately; from Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging to Now You See me 2 to Magic Mike. Honestly, now that testing week is over, I just have so much time - and it's great.
You see, ever since I diverted my attention to studying, I've foregone a lot of other things I used to find important. I stopped working out, my diary is looking awfully sparse because I didn't seem to have time for emotions, and I just haven't been doing anything different, anything remotely creative. And the thing is, even though my last test was over a week ago, I still haven't been doing any of these things.
I've been reading a lot of to-do lists random people have written for themselves online. You know, I used to be one of those people. I would set myself projects and have ideas bursting from all corners of my head. Now I've become one of those unproductive people who doesn't seem to have anything. I haven't been working out, or writing in my diary, or having any real emotions to be honest - and I can't figure out if that's good or bad. I mean, in a way it's good because it means I can focus on something else other than being worried or sad or whatever, but what exactly should I focus on?
Honestly, if I'm not with other people, I don't know what to do with myself. I spend a lot of time watching TV or aimlessly going on social media just waiting for something interesting to pop up, or even playing that game slither.io, which is very very addictive, and something I would never have even opened had it not been for my utter need to do something.
When did I become so dependent and boring?
So lately I've been thinking - maybe I should write a story. I'm always thinking up random scenarios in my head that would probably never happen, and that's what writing is for, right? It's about creating something exaggerated, a world where everything is right, or interesting. I just don't understand how some people manage to write books that aren't fantasies or imaginable, but are just good - like portraying an accurate analysis of human behaviour while teaching the reader valuable lessons good - and how are these books also so well written? I would love love love to write something like that, but I just don't know how. I guess I could try, right?
I've also decided to try eating new stuff everywhere I go. I mean, I've always been a foodie, so why not make it official to myself? I want to try all the new restaurants; especially cafes. I love cafes. Not even just that though. I want to order something new in all the places I have been. I've realised that I pretty much like all types of pasta, and I've pretty much tried all the best foods at Chinese restaurants since I never choose which dishes come to the table anyway. So let's go back to cafes for a moment. I want to try all the random avocado dishes, and all the egg ones, and all the sandwiches. I also want to eat some pepper lunch, and some burgers, and some yoghurt muesli stuff, and some French toast with bacon.
The only problem here is that I absolutely do not want to work out. It's been so cold lately and I can feel my winter fat building a layer around me, but I'm okay for now. The idea of doing any running or any resistance work makes me cringe with dread. Once I've stopped, and I've eaten a lot, I can't start again... and that makes me marginally worried.
Also, when did people stop striving to be better, to be nicer? Like honestly, nowadays people relish in the idea of being mean as long as they're superior. "I hate everyone." How many times have you heard people say that, because I've been hearing it way too often lately. It's like people just want to be negative. They want to seem nonchalant all the time - going on their phones or pretending to forget stuff that they clearly remember. And being surrounded by all this obviously does impact you. It's like society doesn't care about being a good person anymore, and maybe something else I should do is fight that need to trump superiority over decency.
And I guess that's my longwinded version of a to-do list for now. How can I be less lazy?