Tuesday, 16 June 2015
Beauty and Bitchiness
"I notice how pretty a girl is based on the way she carries herself", said someone today.
I really like that, although I can't say that's what I notice myself. I'm going to have to admit that I notice beauty based on the face, and the hair, and the body; because I'm shallow like that. Although there's no doubt that subconsciously we all do judge beauty based on the way one "carries themselves". If they've got a confident walk, head held high, graceful; then sure, it probably does affect my opinion. But what kind of person actually notices a girl and thinks, "Hey. She's got a really nice walk"?
I feel like there's always an undercurrent of a person's personality and social status there though, permeating the thoughts of each judging person. If they've got a super personality and are really popular, then people will complement them, no matter what their face looks like (unless they're seriously absurdly ugly, which literally no one is). But if they're seen as a bit of a weirdo, or are a little shy, then unless they're overly stunning, they'll be seen as either average or ugly.
Going to an all girls' school full of bitchy people, the topic of how pretty a person is is quite openly spoken about, behind their backs of course (unless it's a complement, in which case it's probably a little fake).
They were talking about this girl today, who I think is really pretty. They were talking about how random her profile pictures are, and how much she's changed, and they kept making sideways glances, making sure she wasn't walking through the door. Nobody stops these kinds of conversations, myself included. There may be saves and complements, but they always seem like fake kindness to make yourself look better.
The only problem with this girl is that she hangs around people they see as "weird", and when a person is seen as weird, it's appalling the amount of times they can be laughed at without them knowing it. The amount of judgemental looks they get is astounding. And the amount of influence these opinions have on me is shameful, because when someone is thought of as weird, I start to see them that way as well.
I reckon girls must always compare, and when they aren't getting something they want, they make up a philosophy for themselves as a sort of self reassurance; and a lot of these philosophies are then preached very loudly.
We feel the need to make ourselves look good, better than others. We sit with people we think are cooler. We make fun of people we think aren't. We think, "at least I'm not her" but less blatantly when reassuring ourselves. We'll say anything to fit into certain conversations with certain people.
And if we can't successfully do this, we start complaining about how pretentious the school is, how shallow people are, how ridiculous. We act like we're better, more forward thinking, when really none of it really matters and we're all pretty pathetic for even playing this incredulous game. Healthy food, the number of continents you've been to, your formal dress, your social life - none of it needs to be superior to anyone else's, so why is it so important to us?
Sure gossip sessions are fun, but not to the point that they become all around mean. No talking about how "she's ugly in real life but looks good in photos" when you don't even know her as a person. Never call a person "ew" when she's standing right there. Keep conversations light because there's no need for all that negative energy.
I just hate that "chilled" tone of voice. I don't know how to describe it but I use it sometimes, and that voice is how I know I'm being fake. It's the tell-tale of when people are trying to act "cool" when they're insecure and trying to say pretentious or offensive things to make themselves feel better. Or if they're like me, trying to fit in with the rest of these voices.
Sometimes people disregard others, just ignore them when they speak, as if they don't deserve to be heard, as if what they're saying isn't important. Feeling ignored is one of the worst feelings in the world. It's amazing how two-faced some people can be depending on who they're around, how the respect for someone can change based on someone else's opinion, someone else's experiences dictating their own.
I hate it when people make noise with no content, when they preach their opinions and all the weaker-minds can't filter it out of their heads; their opinion becomes the opinion, and it's irritating.
The backstabbers and fakers are everywhere, all wanting to make themselves feel more reassured, make themselves look better, seem better, myself included. If the definition of beauty is both physical and spiritual, I reckon we're all pretty ugly inside.