Sunday 3 May 2015

Completely Utterly Self Obsessed

I'm all I ever think about.  If you haven't already noticed from all my rambles, they're literally all about me.  About me developing myself, about how I'm worried about this aspect of myself.  This blog is meant to be a reflection of my thoughts, and so far they're all about me.  I'm even writing a post about how self obsessed I am right now.

I consume my own brain.  Every action I make is based on what I want to do, or what I think other people will think of me.  That factors in a lot.  I guess self obsessed people care more about what other people think of them, because they're also worried about what they think of themselves.

I can't even think of a single other thing to think about that doesn't involve myself.  Every friendship, every person I think about, it's all in relation to me.  Every story, movie, TV show, it's in relation to what I think and what I'll tell.  So what else is there to think of in life, besides more worldly situations which I'm sad to say I don't think of all that often.

And I have that feeling sometimes, where I'm so excited about what I want to say, or I relate someone else's story to one of my own, and I don't really listen to what they're saying.  I mean, I find what others have to say interesting, but I always relate it back to myself.  And I feel like I always talk about myself in a way.  That must be irritating.  And here I am again thinking about what they think of me, not feeling sorry that I've irritated them with my self obsession.

It's not that I'm self confident or anything.  There's a huge difference between being self confident and being self obsessed.  In fact, it's so much harder to be self confident when you're thinking about yourself all the time, with every negative trait consuming your mind.

I always want to make myself better, and I guess that's good in a way, but I reckon I just need to stop thinking about myself as much and be content.  Just redirect everything outward, to the world around me, and think about what's going on, without myself being in relation to it.  Now that sounds beautiful, and kinda impossible.

I'm also wondering though, whether everyone else is just as self obsessed.  I mean, they must think about themselves for a considerable amount of time as well.  Maybe they're just more compassionate and interested in other people.  Or maybe their identity and actions are filling their minds as well.  Am I normal or selfish?  And how do I fix what I am?  Oh look I'm talking about myself again.

I think I should try the outward redirection thing.  It's time to try focusing on everything outside myself, and appreciate it a little.  As a person, I think I'm fine.

Love,
M

24 comments:

  1. In a way, we can't help being self obsessed. It's human nature to relate things to yourself, because basically the only perspective you will ever get to see in life actually is your own. Which means your world sorta does revolve around yourself. How you let that information rule you - now that is the difference.

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    1. That is a very insightful thing to say and I'm pondering it all now. Haha I literally love reading all the intellectual comments on this blog. You're teaching me life lessons here. I guess my world does revolve around myself, and that's a good thing because I need to discover that to be content with my bubble of life and not jealous of others'. But at the same time with this information, I should make myself into a better person, for the good of others as well.

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  2. I actually think you're pretty normal. I don't think it's a problem unless you stop caring/listening to/sympathising with others (that would be extreme!). I think what you talked about with relating stories to you, or redirecting it back to you, is actually a form of empathy. It may cross the line into self-obsession when you stop caring about the other person, not when you describe things from your own persoective. :)

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    1. Thanks Jo. I guess empathy is the important part here, not what you're relating to inside. Because technically, everything will be related to yourself because every person will always be trapped inside their own mind.

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  3. I, for one, think Its totally normal to be a self obsessed. After all, you are the person you see most in life, so chances are you are the one you'll think about most of the time. Plus, I always thought comparing yourself to others is a given. True, it can lead to low confidence, but how else would we know we need to improve ourselves?

    Allie | RainyAllie

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    1. That comparing comment is so true. Sometimes I feel like life is a competition, and you've got to grab as many good traits and talents as you can, more so than anybody else. And these traits and talents are imitated from other people. That's why you compare. But the whole competition part is where the self obsessiveness comes in.

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  4. I think it's all right to be self-obsessed to a certain limit.
    Ultimately, none of us can be selfless. A lot of instances arise wherein one has to think about oneself. It's not bad to think about oneself.
    But, if you become so obsessed that you think everything you do is perfect and everyone else is crap, then there's a problem.
    I think you are perfectly fine the way you are. You're speaking out what's in your mind and you're caring about everyone else around you by being actively involved in a conversation, instead of zoning out.
    Thinking about oneself isn't a bad thing as long as you aren't narcissistic and selfish.
    I, for one, think that it's great that you're speaking out about your problems instead of bottling them up because shoving your angst within might result in an explosion which will be detrimental to everyone around you, especially your family and friends.
    Stay awesome as ever,
    Much love,
    Archie

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    1. Sometimes I do zone out in disagreements and think others are simply being closed minded or sheep. Maybe I need to listen a little more before judging. Or maybe that isn't the problem. You're right though. I reckon thinking of yourself isn't a bad thing at all, and maybe I am normal. Thanks Archie. You stay awesome too xx

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  5. I don't really think you're self obsessed..it's natural to post things and relate them to yourself.

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    1. Thanks Jollygirl. I guess that's what a blog's for, right?

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  6. I don't think you're self-obsessed, I think you just noticed something people do to survive: after all this is our life and all information we get can be applied to our own life so we know what to do when we find ourselves in a similar situation. When I imagined how I'd survive the Hunger Games back when I was 14, I listened to everyone's suggestions and then thought what I wanted to do with them. No one thought I was being self-obsessed, they just thought I was finding the best way to survive a fictional event :P
    I just think that our 'self-obsession' is just an altered form of survival instincts. Instead of thinking about what we would do if we were attacked by a bear, we know think about how we can improve ourselves to secure a safe and important spot in our society. It's all a survival instinct to me.

    x Envy
    Picking up the Pieces

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    1. I guess self-obsession (or not self obsession - rather thinking thoroughly about one's self) is a survival tactic in the end. The more you improve yourself the better chance you have in the world, and to do so an effort must be made. Thanks Envy x

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  7. Yeah, I know what you mean. But it's a blog, how do you NOT talk about yourself all the time?
    Though now that you've said that, I think I want to focus on things outside of myself as well. Not all the time but more. That way I can appreciate and actually know the world around me.
    And not just how I perceive it.

    Does that make sense? Probably not, hahah.

    ~Tudda Pudda ^____________________^
    P.S. Long time no see!

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    1. It does kinda make sense!! You're right about the blog thing. This is a place for me to whine about all my insecurities and receive life lessons from all you insightful people out there. But I do like the idea of focusing on the world around you. Knowing more creates a more informed perception in the end anyway.

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  8. I definitely don't think you should feel bad about yourself for thinking about yourself all the time. I think most people are self obsessed in a way. We all care about what others think about us and our own interests and stuff. I don't think it makes you selfish or any less kind and caring of a person. Once you show interest and love for others and consideration for their feelings too I think you're alright :) x

    Sinead | Dreaming Again

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    1. Thanks Sinead. I think I'm alright too. But I still think it's important to observe the world around us.

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  9. LITERALLY SAME. Ugh. sorry. But I just realized I have the exact same problem and it sucks and have no idea how to fix it. Im so obsessed with myself and like...its disgusting. So I totally get you. I think we need to think of others and try to do it more consistently. I challenged myself once to try to truly listen to other people and what they had to say and like ask questions in response instead of relating it back to myself in a way and also to really care about others. and it changed me a lot. it was helpful. but yeah dude I get you. Just keep reminding yourself to think of others and stop yourself each time you catch yourself indulging in self obsessed thoughts. but keep in mind that sometimes you need to think about you. you're important too.

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    1. UGH I KNOW!! Sometimes I feel like the worst person because of the thoughts I think and I'm glad you feel the same. Well not glad, just glad to know I'm not the only one. But Faith, in a way I think we're normal as well. Everyone is kinda self-obsessed. But of course it's good to think about others more. Not to make ourselves a better person, but to make them happier.

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  10. I don't think your self-obsessed, M. As the others said we all relate things to ourselves, and aside from that, this is your blog, where people come to read about you. <3

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    1. Haha Jordy that's true. This blog is self-obsession heaven. Every blog is.

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  11. Hiya babe, u shouldnt feel bad for thinking bout ur self all the time i think its a good thing im just like u trust me i know how u feel but sometime it drives me crazy lol,
    thanks for sharing this with us.

    Visit me whenever you've got time
    www.its-dominica.blogspot.co.uk

    Have a lovely weekend!
    Stay in touch.
    Kisses!

    Dominica S.

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    1. Thanks Dominica. Thinking about myself lets me get to know myself better I guess, and yes that drives me crazy.

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  12. I find especially with blogging and commenting on other people's blogposts that I relate everything to me and my personal views I think (see I'm doing it now) everyone is self-obsessed to an extent and that is healthy or else we would all hate ourselves.

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    1. But sometimes self obsession causes self hate. We get to the point where we identify that self obsession and despise it. We know ourselves so well that we notice all our flaws, and maybe that leads to self hate. But I guess it can also lead to self improvement.

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