Ever since I started working this has been a question. Well, actually, it's kinda always been on my mind since like last year when I had some sort of personal revelation, but now it's a question of which philosophy to follow. How do people do it?
Social skills. It's a matter of how easy you are to talk to, how much people enjoy your company, how normal you are, how society sees you, based on the way you interact with people.
I'm telling you now, at the age of 12 I had no social skills whatsoever. I think it's a self confidence issue. You see, at 12 I had none and pretty much thought I had to follow along because I was always wrong, but then, at like 13 or 14 I realised that no, I'm just as right as the rest of them, and I think that's when I developed myself a little. So yeah, the first step to being able to communicate with other human beings appropriately is to have some self confidence. Realise you're just as amazing as everyone else, if not more amazing.
But now it's a matter of your personality, and how you convey that personality. Like, what do you do? What do you say to be funny, or fun, or just nice to have a chat with? I don't want to just be plain old boring normal. I want people to be able to label me, to have a thought on me. What am I? Who am I? What does the way I interact say about me?
This is where work has come in. Working at a cinema actually requires a lot of socialising. Mostly with co-workers but also through customer service I guess, but then you don't really meet the customers for more than a few minutes at most so they don't really count. I'm talking about the co-workers, who you spend full 5 hour shifts with, here.
Let's analyse the other trainees first.
One of them is like a "best mate" I guess you could say. She laughs a lot and is really good with the guys. She likes zombies and xbox and Fast and Furious and that kind of thing, and she's simply confident and is able to talk. I'm not sure what she does or how she does it or how she's able to find stuff to laugh about. But honestly, when I'm working with her it makes me look fun as well. So that's a bonus, but what is she doing that makes the overall environment this way?
Another one is really bubbly. She's just really really sociable, from what I've seen of her anyway. I find her easy to talk to, but she also said she was like totally silent on her first shift. I wasn't, but maybe she's exaggerating a lot? Anyway, I only spent about a half hour with her, but she's kinda like the nice slightly ditzy one, and people like that, but I'm not that.
The other girl is just really popular. Everybody knows her. Like literally everybody in the entire city, or north side anyway. She's been to three different schools and people already knew her before she got hired, and I'd even heard of her before she got hired. From the time I've spent with her, I know she's easy to talk to as well, and she's really good at knowing how to act in any situation. But how does she do it???
The one guy that got hired with us is confident, but possibly in a bad way. He's kinda weird because he already asked the "best mate" girl out (who rejected lol). Yeah, but he enjoys being good at everything, and organised, and having a plan. A few co-workers have told me he's kinda weird to talk to. But what makes him weird to talk to? What is he doing wrong?
And if I were to categorize everyone else I've managed to meet, they're all so socially apt. I'm just hoping I'm just as great at this as they are. I am, right? Nobody's called me weird and everyone is talking to me alright, so I must be doing something. What's my overall impression, I wonder.
There's the older people who talk about uni and phones and music.
There's the slightly younger people obsessed with night clubs and bars and drinking and drugs and social media.
There's the other group of younger people who aren't.
And there are those in between.
There are the bossy people no one likes.
There are the people I haven't met yet or can't remember, who all seem so perfectly normal.
And then there's me. I don't know what to think about me.
What should I be? How are my social skills? What should I say or do and how should I act? I can technically make myself be anything. I'm a person to be moulded but what do I do with myself? And how do I learn to perfect that person?
Maybe I should just continue doing what I'm doing, being pleasant and somewhat funny? Or am I boring? What even am I?
Maybe I'm overanalysing things too much.