Wednesday, 8 April 2015

Disconnected

Do you ever feel the urge to be like an ice queen?  Unfeeling.  Aloof.  Disconnected.  Or just a floater, oblivious and uncaring to the world around you, depending only on your inner thoughts.  Is it like reaching your utmost point of being and self awareness, being completely centred.


I'm honestly so sick of the daily repetitions of life right now.  I know school ends in two days, but could this week pass any slower?  It's gotten to the point that I don't really care about anything anymore.  It's a matter of showing up, being disconnected, and coming home again.

There's no more over thinking.  There's no more analysing of every situation.  I don't care what people do.  I don't really care what the teacher is saying.  I just want to go home.  I just want life to change.  I need variety to keep me connected to the world.


But do I want to be connected?  Is it better to not focus on the little things, to not get upset over the little things?  Shouldn't I try to be this uncaring all the time?  Isn't it great being disconnected?

As soon as new people come into the picture, or something changes, the floater leaves and in enters the green eyed monster.  It's exhausting and unnecessary and causes so much angst.  I need to train myself to be an ice queen on the inside, permanently.

I reckon it's important to rely on yourself.  It's important to realise that the relationships between others and what they do is none of your business.  Unless someone involves you or you're able to involve yourself if you really want to, then why waste brain space on something?


Disconnect yourself from the world and spend time in your own mind.  Let them talk without wanting to join in.  Let yourself miss out on a few things.  You need to stop needing them.  You need to stop needing approval.

If you stop continuously thinking about what every single other person's thinking, and start focusing on your own thoughts, or this present moment, then wouldn't you be a happier person?

That's exactly it.  Focus on the present moment, every moment.  Focus on yourself in the moment and think, how can I make this moment more worthwhile?  If it involves being productive, go be.  If it involves joining that conversation, go join.  Whatever it is, stop wondering what other people are doing and start wondering what you're doing.


Disconnect yourself from everything else and be self aware.  Be centred.  Be focused on the now and your experiences, because after all, they're what really matters in the end.

Love,
M

12 comments:

  1. You might think this is right at the moment disconnecting from everything but soon if start doing that a day will come when you'll nothing to connect to other than yourself because it's a slippery slope.Trust me been there done that.
    There are a lot of other ways to achieve what you're trying to do by disconnecting for instance try meditating or keeping your mind preoccupied with some fandom or reading a book.You can also get creative and let all the bad stuff out on a page.(I do that with my comics :P).

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    1. Thanks Neal. Sometimes I feel as if being a little disconnected is easier. But I realise that everyone needs to be connected to something, care about something. But maybe we need to disconnect ourselves in certain ways too, rather than tangling our connections into a trapping web.

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  2. I know what you mean I feel that way often

    CANDICE | BEAUTY CANDY LOVES

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    1. I'm glad you understand Candice xx

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  3. It's good to sometimes just shut away, but it's no good running away from problems either, just face them head on:) If you ever want a day where you just need to be alone, lock you phone and laptop away and relax.

    Meme xx

    New post:
    'Mini Make-Up Haul// Max Factor and L'oreal'
    http://thedayinthelifeofmexoxo.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Thanks Meme. Maybe you're right. I just think ten weeks of school has driven me a little insane and I really need this alone time now.

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  4. I'm currently feeling this way right now, too. This day has been going by real fast for me but the problem? The days are rather stale and it causes me to deal with a bunch of stress. I really hope that you get back on your mojo! Two days can be long, but if you don't stress and do what a certain ice queen does (I "snow" know what you are Olaf-ing about... hehe) then it should go by in a whirl.

    xoxo Morning

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    1. The two days are over and I'm literally ecstatic! They weren't even that bad to be honest. I hope you get back on you mojo as well ;) Thanks Morning xo

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  5. I kind of know what you mean. Right now, I really don't feel connected to anything, and don't want to be. Also the mundane is driving me crazy.

    But I know that being apathetic is not the best route to go down. It's good to be aware of yourself and it's good not to take offense at everything and not worry about what other people are doing. But it's not good to just be a floater. I've done that. Often times, I'm too empathic, and then I become apathetic because feeling everything begins too hurt to much. But then I have to ask myself, is it better to care about people (genuinely care) and feel their hurt, or is it better to be unfeeling and inhumane, to just not care, and protect myself from being broken and sad about other people's circumstances?

    That really is hard. And I'm still struggling with that.

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    1. Being empathetic requires so much feeling though, and maybe it isn't so good to feel so much about everything either. I reckon being apathetic isn't great either though. Maybe we should create a balance. Some things aren't worth feeling over, but others we need to pour our hearts into. But sometimes we need to be an ice queen on the outside, strong and unbreakable.

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  6. Hello dude! I have been exactly where you have been just about two months ago when i was living alone abroad. It was very difficult but i lost the motivation completely to do anything to the point where i'd want to just stay home and get angered the slightest thing! Its something that passes, I just figured that it was due to me needing a slight change of direction. I came home and suddenly felt great again! And so happy! It was great to feel like that :) I read something today that actually made me have a completely new outlook on life which might create a bit of a smile for you. If someone from 10 years down the line came to you today and said that you life was exactly the same as what it is today, you would feel a bit depressed probably. So embrace change. :)
    Emma pire

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    1. Yeah it's a pretty weird phase isn't it? But it's passed for me too and now I'm caring too much again. But that means I'm being human, right? Change is great. I'll definitely embrace all the changes that happen in my life. Thanks Emma. I'm glad you found the right change of direction for yourself.

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