Wednesday, 31 December 2014

From 2014 to 2015


 
It’s New Year’s Eve and here I am, sitting in a huge beautiful apartment that’s practically empty.  The only people here seem to be my grandma, the lovely nanny/maid, a workaholic uncle, and me.  The aunties have all gone shopping, the uncles are here and there, and the kids are all continuously riding down the waterslide, not getting bored as I did about an hour ago.  There’s not a single person my age in sight.  At midnight we’ll probably be sleeping, or eating, because that’s what this side of the family does.  It won’t be spectacular, but it will be pleasant, not that it matters what I’m doing at exactly midnight. 

What matters is that 2014 is ending, and I haven’t bothered to do any reflecting yet, which I reckon I should. 

Thinking back to myself last new year’s eve, I was in Melbourne watching the fireworks.  My interest in summer dresses had just peaked, bringing me to what I’m wearing now, which is one of my favourite dresses so far.  Looking back, I was so much shyer, so much less sure of myself.  I guess I’m still not completely sure of myself, but now I’m a year closer. 



2014 has been a big year for me.  Every year is when you’re growing up.  I’ve changed so rapidly and so much.  I’ve been focusing more on my individual worth.  In all the previous years I’ve always gone with the tide, worried so much about what people thought of me.  I wanted so much to belong, but I never realised that belonging wasn’t the same as changing.  I obviously still want to belong, and I still worry what people think of me, but at least I’m now aware of that.


The M last year who would act like a complete retard around people she didn’t know, she can now act like a decent human being.

The M last year who thought other people would say it anyway so why should she bother, now she tries to say it before they do. 

The M last year who never ever confided in people, now she lets her emotions show.  Now she complains or says things whether they’ll find it weird or not.  Okay, that was a bit of a lie.  I still hold back sometimes, but I’m working on it.


2014 was a year of changing and constant friendships, it was the year I started thinking more deeply about people and happiness in general, and the year I started writing.  My diary has been going on for a while, but this year I realised I don’t have to write every day.  I can write whenever I feel like it.  This blog came into existence in August, and I’m really enjoying writing on here, so hopefully this will be the first of many New Year’s posts.



Not forgetting that as well as an ending, the New Year signifies a beginning, I’ve decided to make some New Year’s resolutions.  I’ve never made them before, so I guess I’m starting now.  I feel as if they’ll work, that if I put some goals into words before the year starts, I’ll feel obliged to follow through for once.

So here goes…



1. Eat healthier and exercise more


I know. This one’s really cliché.  But it is a very important one, especially since I’m in Malaysia and feeling out of place amongst the small people, and sick from all the unhealthy food.  So here’s how it’s going to work.  For food, I’ll be eating three meals a day, more veggies, no unhealthy snacks aside from maybe something generic every few days, and I’ll drink loads of water, and only water.  In terms of exercise, I’ll do one form of exercise and 100 staggered sit ups a day.



2. Procrastinate less

It’s the reason my room’s messy, my chores are never done and my instruments are left unpractised.  Too many hours have been wasted on my phone or on this laptop, and in the New Year this has to stop.  Sure, my grades are still fine, but I’ve really been cutting my study time thin.  Basically, when I set a time to do something, I have to do it.  No excuses.



3. Talk to people no matter what.  Stop feeling judged

There have been too many situations where I’ve sat alone and not bothered to talk to the people around me.  I know I’ve become more socially confident, but I’m still getting there and it’s an important skill to learn.  So that’s what I’m going to do.  I’m going to join the conversation and say hi as much as I can.  Honestly, they won’t judge you, and if they are, they were judging you anyway.  That’s how people make new friends, right?  So I must’ve been pretty confident at one stage, and who doesn’t want more friends?



4. Try to be more me and less fake.  Unless being fake is me?

Sorry.  That’s a bit of a confusing resolution.  Basically I should speak my actual opinion or truth more, and stop laughing when I don’t get what they said.  Although, what if suiting my reaction to what other people want is me?  Well, I certainly hope that’s not me so I should change myself then.  Anybody has the power to make themselves who they wanna be.  Does that make any sense?


5. Shut my mouth and stop being stupid

I know I’ve been talking about how much more open I need to be, but I really do need to stop saying stupid things at school, or going out of control with my family.  If I know what I say is going to lead to a disagreement with a friend, or could possibly hurt them, I really shouldn’t say it.  If my mum is being super irritating or wrong, I should just shut my mouth and agree with what she says.  It would make life so much easier for everyone.


6. Redecorate the bedroom

At the moment my room is the same as it was two years ago, maybe with more drawings on the wall, which look kinda tacky up there anyway.  My room needs some serious redecorating.  I’m thinking of creating a new display on top of my shelves, taking down the drawings and putting Polaroids up with my pineapple pegs and string instead, and putting up some lantern lights.  I know.  That sounds really tumblr.



7. Keep writing

The blog needs to last the year for a start.  I don’t want to give up on this, so I guess I’ll have to keep working to make it consistent.  I should also keep writing in my diary, no matter how dorky what I write sounds.  It’s therapeutic.  I also want to write a real story, because I want some of those fantasies in my head to come to life.  Does that sound creepy?



8. Practice musical instruments more

Starting with when I get back to Grandma’s, I will practice the piano.  And in Australia, I’ll practice the trombone.  I’ve really neglected my instruments this year, and if I want to improve I need to put the work in.



9. Set a good sleeping routine

Sleep late and struggle through the next day.  That’s been my routine this year, and it needs to change.  I know this might sound worse, but my goal is to wake up even earlier.  I figure that I’ll have more time to do things in the morning, and it’ll wake me up a bit for the day.  I figure that if I wake early, I’ll end up sleeping earlier too.  Obviously I won’t be starting during my holiday, but this will be effective from a week before school starts.



10. Be more organised and independent

I used to be the most organised person in the world, with everything neatly arranged and my time management carefully set out.  This year that’s all gone down the drain, so I’m aiming to become that organised person again.  My dad’s also always teasing me about being unable to fend for myself in public, which I think is untrue, but I would like to become more confident with being alone and getting rides for myself, even if I have to take the public bus alone.



And I guess my mantra for 2015 would be to care less, because over this last year I’ve realised that the less you care, the happier you are.  Stop caring what people think of you and you’ll be unafraid to talk to anyone.  Stop caring how your life is compared to other peoples’ and you’ll be happy with your own.  Stop caring and you’ll be content.  I don’t know if you agree, but maybe it would be something to think about in the year to come.


Have a happy new year!!

Love,
M

34 comments:

  1. These are amazing new year resolutions!:D
    I never make resolutions...ahah because I tend to not stick with them :$
    Happy New Year M! <3

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    1. Thanks June! But you know, I was just reading a blog where they said you have a 70% more chance of achieving what you want done if you set out the goal! Happy new year <3

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  2. These are fantastic resolutions. Happy 2015!

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    1. Thanks Krysten! Happy 2015 to you too xx

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  3. Great resolutions. A lot are pretty similar to some of my own. =)
    Have a great New Year! <3
    ~Adi

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    1. Thanks Adi! I hope we both manage to achieve them!! Happy new year to you too! <3

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  4. Hi, M! It's always good to make a list of resolutions to keep on mind for the new year :) Good that you have a well-thought out list. We'll change based on our experiences throughout the year too, and learn more about ourselves. Happy New Year and hope you have a great 2015! :)

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    1. I've never made resolutions before, so I guess we'll have to see how these go. Haha. I can't wait to see what I'm like at the end of this year. Hopefully I'll have changed for the better. Thanks Dian! I hope you have an amazing 2015 too!! :)

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  5. Wonderful resolutions, M!
    And let me just say, you are so beautiful!

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    1. Oh. Haha really? These are such ugly photos but I figured they summed up some of my experiences and my awful fringe so I just put them in. Thanks Jordy!!

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  6. Hi M! These New Year's resolutions are fabulous! I really need to get around to making mine, though I have a lot of trouble keeping them haha. ;)

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    1. Don't we all ;) Well, hey at least mine are now made. Hopefully you've made yours by now too, and hopefully we won't have too much trouble keeping them. Although I've kinda broken my eating healthy rule already...

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  7. I have a lot of the same resolutions, good luck and Happy New Year.

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    1. Thanks Skye!! I hope we both manage to achieve them! Happy new year xx

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  8. Good luck with everything M! Happy New Year!
    Tegan xx - Permanent Procrastination

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    1. Thanks Tegan!! Happy new year to you too xx

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  9. I'm hosting 2 really awesome things right now and wanted to get you the heads up for them if you are interested!

    1) Guest Posts http://majesticgoldenrose.weebly.com/blog/wanted-guest-bloggers-w-linky

    Ive only been blogging for a year, but feel free to submit a post for my blog. You can post on faith, humor, a review, a DIY slash recipe slash anything else, etc. I give out 2 weeks free ad space for any post submitted. Would you be able to put something together for me?

    2) Ad Space http://majesticgoldenrose.weebly.com/blog/giveaway-5-ways-to-get-free-ad-space-on-my-blog-w-linky

    Submitting a guest post isnt the only way to get free ad space :) I'm hosting a giveaway that you might want to check out too.

    Happy New Year!!!

    Kate @ majesticgoldenrose

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    Replies
    1. I'd actually love to host a guest post! And your blog sounds awesome!! I'm coming to check this out right now. Thanks so much Kate!! Happy new year!!

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  10. Amazing resolutions. Some of them are also in my resolution list for this new year.
    With a lot of positivity and perseverance we will be able to achieve all of our goals :)
    Happy New Year!

    Salha | Abuhayar

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    1. Hopefully we will!! Haha I reckon positivity and perseverance should be on this resolutions list too. Happy new year Salha and good luck!!

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  11. Great resolutions, they are quite similar like mine! I hope you'll achieve them all in 2015. :)

    Sara Wallflower

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    1. Thanks Sara! I hope we both achieve them in 2015 ;) Happy new year!!

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  12. Good goals for the year - I always feel that I need to be more organized - that's a constant or me, but I keep trying! best of luck with yours :)

    xoxo

    Kaley

    My Closet Life Blog

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    1. Thanks Kaley! Yeah organisation is a very difficult necessity sadly :( Best of luck getting organised to you too! xo

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  13. Great blog post and excellent resolution I can agree with most of them. Good luck for 2015! Please check out my blog I would love a follow and any feedback you may have :)
    http://anotherteenontheweb.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Thanks! Happy new year for 2015 to you!! I think I'm already following you...

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  14. Let 2015 be a greater year. With each year we grow and become more wiser. Hope your goals gets fulfilled! :) xx Maja
    - http://modern-muffin.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks Maja! I certainly hope I'll grow for the better. Happy new year xx

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  15. Good goals. Glad to hear that you are more confident now. Enjoy 2015! Happy new year!

    www.jeannechristinemarie.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks Jeanne. I hope I become more so. Happy new year to you too!

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  16. Talking to people is generally a good thing, hard as it is. Happy New Year.

    / Avy
    http://MyMotherFuckedMickJagger.blogspot.com



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    1. I know that, but sometimes the hard part is what you have to overcome. Happy new year Avy.

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