Tuesday, 25 November 2014

The Key to Confidence

Let's begin with those insecurities you seem to have.  You know, where you think those people over there are having more fun than you.  Where you ditch your conversation for another, because they look like they're talking about something more interesting.  Well the truth is, the grass is probably no greener on the other side.  The only reason they seem to be having more fun than you is because you've persuaded yourself that you're having none.  You just need to get it into your head that you are the scene.  It's your job to make sure you're having fun.  You make the conversation interesting.  You say something you think is funny.  And if you're having fun, the people will come to you.  You'll be the one they ditch their conversations for.


Just stop being insecure, okay?  Do you ever wonder why some people seem to be more respected than others?  People listen to them more.  People want to spend time with them more.  The only reason for that is because they're speaking up.  They're not afraid to say what they want.  You can't be respected if you don't say anything at all.  You can't be respected for just saying what everyone else is saying.  You need to make up the phrase.  You need to be the one everyone seems to be quoting.

Everyone is people, and people are just people.  Not one is much better than another.  The only reason you might think that is because the ones that are confident seem to be better.  The ones that aren't are secretly amazing, but don't get as much recognition, and that's okay if you're okay with that.  But please have the confidence to hold your own, to have your own known personality that is ultimately you.  We need a variety of people, and you are part of that vast variety.  I know it's cheesy but be yourself, because everyone else is taken.  If you say what you believe in or want to say, then you'll also end up surrounding yourself with people who genuinely like you, who you can make good friendships with.


Stop icing out people you don't particularly know too.  It could be that girl who's always on the bus.  Or that guy who sits near you in maths.  Or that girl who's always waiting for her parents in the same spot as you.  Just say hi to them, talk to them, even if they have some kind of reputation, whether they're "undesirable", "weird" or "really popular".  And if you like them, well start saying hi to them whenever you see them.  That's how friendships are developed.


I know it's more difficult than it sounds.  Speaking up can be hard in certain situations.  Sometimes you really want to say something just to please the other person, or make them like you better, even when you don't believe it.  And no matter how simple it sounds, saying hello can be the most difficult thing in the world.

But here's a tip...

Just stop caring.

My current lock screen on my phone says "You're at your best when you don't give a crap."  And it's true.  If you don't care what they think of you, saying whatever you want is easy, giving your honest opinion is easy, and saying hello is the simplest thing in the world. 


The key to being confident is to live for yourself.  You're the one having the best time.  You're the one who thinks this and feels like saying it.  You're the one who doesn't care what she'll think of you when you tell her you like this singer, or you think the guy she likes is ugly.  You're the one who wants to get to know her, not the other way round.  You don't care what she thinks of you.  You just want another person to talk to.

And the truth is, if you let them see who you are, if you let them judge you for speaking up rather than not saying anything at all, they will probably like you.  They certainly won't hate you.


If you decide to stop feeling judged and invite people over to your place, or have a party of your own, you'll end up having fun.  Carry your own.  You're a person, they're a person, you're just as important as all of them.  In fact, you're more important, because you're you and you most definitely care.

The key to confidence is to put yourself up on that pedestal.

Love,
M

36 comments:

  1. Great post, thank you for sharing!

    Candice | Beauty Candy Loves
    xoxo

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  2. You sure do got wisdom :P
    I think rather than stop giving a crap thing we should give selective crap..does that make any sense?? o.O

    Neal Kind
    Daily Diaries

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    1. Naww thanks Neal. That does make sense. I reckon we should care about the people we know and respect, who are our friends. But as for everyone else's opinions, or where you stand in terms of them, do what you want.

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  3. Nice post!

    Maria
    http://stylelistbyme.blogspot.com/
    http://instagram.com/maria_tatarskaya/

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    1. Thanks Maria. I'll check out your blog as soon as my wifi is up again.

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  4. This makes a lot of sense! Definitely something I need to work on.....
    Xoxo
    Grace Anne
    http://totallygraced.blogspot.com

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    1. I'm glad it does Grace! It's something I need to work on too...

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  5. I liked your post ♥
    Followed your lovely blog! Hoping for your follow back.
    Have a nice day!
    http://lyinyou.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thanks Agne. :) I'll check out your blog when my wifi works again.

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  6. I agree self confidence is a key that opens lots of doors!
    xoxo
    Anja

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    Replies
    1. It's easier said than done though...

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  7. Very wise words! I was often miserable in high school due to caring so much what other people thought, as well as comparing myself to others. Luckily, when I entered college, I found myself and learned to be my own person. Too bad I didn't learn this lessen earlier!

    Brittany @ Space Between the Spines

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    1. Yeah. It's funny the things you wish you knew earlier. I wish I'd had all the revelations now back when I first started high school too. Now I'm in year 9, two years in, and trying to adjust to my newfound phycology.

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  8. Ok after reading this post I honestly did get a weird feeling. Maybe I've just been caring too much about my appearance of how popular I am. Instead I should be more focused on doing the things I love, like reading and reviewing books! Great post!

    Alex @ The Book's Buzz

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    1. Aha that's good Alex. I've found that popularity isn't that significant. We've all got our own individual lives, and when you accept that you're an equal to everyone, your status and reputation will probably improve anyway.

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  9. I agree with this post entirely. Self confidence is not something that comes easily. The first step of confidence: approaching someone unfamiliar, is always the hardest.
    For me, the " fake it till you make it" attitude works really well:) Sometimes I force myself to fake my confidence. But yea... easier said then done.. :(
    You're right, sometimes we just have to forget that we're being judge and do whatever we want to do.
    June
    The Journeys of My Beating Heart

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    1. ugh. I know! Approaching people is sometimes so hard you don't end up doing it. And "fake it to make it" is one of the best strategies around ;) ;)

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  10. Replies
    1. Thanks Jollygirl! i'm glad you agree <3

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  11. What a great post. I found myself identifying with so many of these.
    xo,
    Malia
    littleladychangblog

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    1. Thanks Malia. I'm glad you can relate xx

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  12. I feel like I've learnt so much reading this post. It was truly amazing. I made a post almost similar to this, check it out if you want.
    http://irunthenight.blogspot.co.uk/2014/11/believing-in-yourself.html

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    1. Aw I'm glad you have. And I'd love to check it out!!

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  13. This post really helped me a lot. I feel like I've learnt so much. I've never been a real confident person so. :)

    Colorful Closets

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    1. I'm really glad Jane! Confidence is so difficult to have, but once you have it (or pretend to) life gets so much easier.

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  14. Such an inspirational post!! A lot of great points there! Thanks for this :)
    ♥Natalie
    Yours Truly, NY


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    1. Thanks Natalie! I'm glad you liked it. No problem :)

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  15. Really lovely post. The pictures you included really sum up the point of this post and I agree with everything you said. Sometimes we need reminders of these things! So thanks!
    summer x x x
    www.summertimelemonade.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks!! I'm glad you like it and agree. Confidence to hold their own is something everyone needs. No problem! xx

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  16. Couldn't agree with you more on this one! Confidence and gratitude are the two things in life you need to be happy, and it's such a blessing to have those things, life seems so much more beautiful when you are comfortable in yourself and when you appreciate all that you are.

    Ooohhhh.... I'm just too cheesy!! xxx

    (P.S. I deleted my last comment because I made a grammatical error and I'm just OCD with things like that!)

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    1. Haha you're not cheesy. You're just smart ;) There's a reason these things are said so many times. Be comfortable with yourself and life truly does get better. And I think I have OCD with comments too. Aha. Totally understood.

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  17. I love this post of yours :D

    I followed youon GFC and Blogovin' as you suggested hope you'll do the same ;*
    http://programmerstyle.blogspot.com/

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  18. Thank for you this post! I totally relate to what you're saying. Sometimes I obsess over the little awkward things I do, but over the past few years, I've realized that I'm getting myself all worried about nothing. This year, I've came out of my shell. I'm a lot more confident now:) Thanks again!
    In Christ,
    Sarah

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