Thursday, 13 November 2014

Rites of Passage

The first kiss.

A cute date.

Sneaking out at night.

A wild party.

Prom.

We all know how it's supposed to go.  High school (and middle school in America) is meant to be filled with drama, social anxiety, and so many firsts.  Some people say it's the best years of their life, and that's exactly what I was expecting for my future, leaving my primary school and starting year 7 at high school for the first time. 

But is school really meant to go like that?  Maybe in movies.  Maybe even in America.  But here?  I'm living in a world opposite from all the stereo-typical "rites of passage" and I can't help but feel as if I'm missing out on a bunch of stuff.  Going to an all girls private school on an island on the other side of the world really is far fetched from the high school experience so many girls dream about.


And I can't be the only one.  In fact, I think that a lot of girls my age aren't going through these rites of passage either, and I bet a whole load of them are wondering what they're missing out on and when things will start happening too.

Sure, there are always some who seem to be living that stereo-typical experience, but are they just being try-hards?  When you start paying attention to some of the drama going on, you realise that they're not even coming close.  Their relationships are far from real (or maybe that's just in a girls school), their parties are super crappy, as if they're only having one to reassure themselves that they do party, and the majority of drama talked about is people getting nosy into other people's friendship groups, or stuff about guys that don't come close to real relationships.  People at my school can have a boyfriend and hardly talk to them, or won't even blink an eye if their ex dates their best friend.  And yet my year is considered "one of the worst" somehow.


Real drama and stereo-types actually do happen in public co-ed schools, according to old friends and social media anyway, but it's still not like the movies.  Nothing is.  It's funny how we sometimes let movies like Mean Girls, Gossip Girl and my new TV show Awkward effect our views on how high school should be.  Or maybe that's just me.  I guess if I want more stereo-typical high school drama, I should just continue watching fake movies.


But as for these rites of passage, they will come in their own time.  The first kiss will happen one day.  Prom, or year 12 formal, will happen.  One day I really will go on a cute date.  Whether it's during high school, or I wait until uni, it will happen eventually.  I reckon rites of passage are different for all of us, and we should wait until they happen rather than comparing against when they happen for others.  This could be said for my whole school demographic, of which less than a third of my grade has been kissed, or for my individual self.

And if I really wanted my rites of passage to come sooner, all I'd have to do is try harder.  It's easy to experience something.  All you have to do is go for it.  It's just a matter of whether you really need to or want to.  Or whether you don't want to be tacky, and want to wait for it all to come on it's own.  You are who you want to be.

I follow Shay Mitchell from Pretty Little Liars on instagram, and this is relevant because she recently posted two relatable quotes I'd like to share with you...

 
 

So don't feel like you're missing out on anything.  All the rites of passage will come in due time.  There is no status quo.  It's your environment, your choices, and basically you that determines when, and it doesn't really matter anyway. 

Judging from my situation, I'm not going to be one of those people leaving high school saying I hated it.  But I certainly hope high school won't be the highlight of my life either.  There are so many rites of passage to go through in life, and I am excited to experience them all in due time.

Love,
M

38 comments:

  1. American TV shows and movies...building up unreal high school expectations since forever :P :P
    I haven't done anything from that list as well..we don't even have prom in India :P

    Neal Kind
    Daily Diaries

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    1. Yess that is too true. And I think each country has their own average. It's just never shown on screens.

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  2. we have prom here in the PH (usually during February),
    and stereotypes are everywhere.
    mean girls, nerds, jocks, etc.
    we just have to laugh with them,
    go with the flow.
    it's like they are part of our lives,
    I lived with it and was able to just forget about it when I graduated.


    Ms. Kei

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    1. Yeah. My school actually doesn't have specific cliques or anything. But we should live with however our school seems to be, and then get on with our lives after. So yeah...

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  3. Another beautifully written post with amazing quotes and cleverly linked with mean girls.

    Lucy @ My Little Life

    I'm going to wait too, like you. I believe all good things happen at the right time in our lives.

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    1. Thanks Lucy! That means so much and Mean Girls is amazing ;) I think waiting is the right choice <3

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  4. I love that movie!!

    Please let me know if you would be interested in following eachother on GFC and Bloglovin.Would love to stay in contact.

    Candice | Beauty Candy Loves
    xoxo

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    1. Me too Candice! And I'd love to follow each other xx

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  5. Love this post

    check me out
    xx
    tyana
    theluxedition.blogspot.com
    bloglovin.com/theluxedition

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    1. Thanks Tyana. Checking you out now xx

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  6. I was late jumping onto the bandwagon of partying etc. but when that part of my life evolved, it just wasn't suited to the type of person I am. Also, aimlessly kissing is soo over rated! I personally prefer quiet nights in with a cup of tea!
    Lovely post! xx

    Golden Ducklings

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    1. That's a good lesson Rachel. Different people find different things fun and start doing things at different times. We shouldn't all just do what the media stereo-typically says we should. Nights in with tea sound amazing <3

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  7. Good thoughts. I don't think that all rights of passage actually happen, some of them are just myths or it depends on your personality whether you will make them happen or not. I do hope that you get the firsts you want soon!
    - July, http://julyaemmance.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thanks July. You're right about some of these "rites" never happening and it all depending on personality. I guess we should all just hope for a good life with good experiences.

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  8. I nominated you for the Blogger Recognition Award on my blog :)

    http://thefashioncheetah.blogspot.ca/2014/11/blogger-recognition-award.html

    xoxo,
    Lydia

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    1. Thanks Lydia! I'm checking it out now xx

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  9. So many stereotypes that never happen...I totally understand...

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    1. Too true and I'm glad you do <3

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  10. Haha I'm trying to treasure this time now... because when when boys come into the picture, drama can't be avoided. And when that happens, we'll not longer be jealous of the " stereotypical rights of passage" we used to yearn for.

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    1. It's not just boys. It's just those experiences people want to have, and I reckon I don't know if I'd like them, but I do want to try them one day while i'm still relatively young. Drama is a yes and a no. I think experiencing everything there is to experience is something to yearn for.

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  11. To be honest, that's what I thought as well. That in 'high school' I would suddenly become cool, make a lot of new friends, go to parties, date people, etc. but how wrong I was. I don't quite like the 'stereotypes' presented in movies and all, because they kind of present this notion of inferiority in some groups and exemplify particular differences. (Obviously in the movie, these differences are celebrated in the ending revelations blah blah).

    I think there's a lot of pressure to have these 'rites of passages' due to media nowadays. I guess we're all different, and some people do really experience those type of things soon/later than others. And you're right, they'll all happen in due time.

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    1. I don't like these stereo types either. They create hierarchy that shouldn't exist, and put pressure on us to experience things before we should. You're right about just doing things when they happen.

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  12. Love this post!
    I've never understood the classic high school or even teenage stereotypes, at all. I'm a sixteen year old homeschooler and I'm nothing like those girls who are sixteen and on tv. Sometimes I wonder if that means there's something wrong with me, but in the end I know it's not true.

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    1. I'm glad you think that way Elizabeth. That's just another example of the different demographics that don't fit into stereo-typical public school.

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  13. I'm from Spain, and here we have nothing like that. But it's funny how movies treat that! I'm following you know! Hope you can check my blog

    http://crisisbeauty.blogspot.com.es/

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    1. It is. Different countries have different high school experiences. Thanks! Checking out your blog now xx

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  14. nice!
    xoxo
    Anja
    anjage.blogspot.co.uk

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  15. Enjoyed this post <3
    Would u like to follow each other?
    follow me via gfc and i will follow u back for sure (gfc)

    xoxo
    www.Arbbeautyblog.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks Aruba <3 We're already following each other.

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  16. It can always feel like a bit of a downer when you think you're not living your teen ways the 'way they should be lived'. The way I see it though is that the majority of 'firsts' we expect to experience at school are experiences that are inevitable in life ie first time we get drunk, first party, first love. So really it doesn't matter if we experience them at 12 and are the coolest person in school or at 20. The obsession with being cool is essentially limited to school anyway and if people think of you as lame for not having done them earlier then they're probably not people you would want as friends anyway! I enjoyed your blogpost btw it's really relatable :)

    My blog is : http://assortedscribblings.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Thanks Grace! I'm glad people can relate. This whole comment is very well said and you're right about these "rites" being inevitable. They'll just happen at different times, that's all.

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  17. Not everything should happen the way media dictates it. We shouldn't do things just because it is what is expected. Let things go their own way and happen when they're bound to happen. :)

    Life With Antlers

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    1. Couldn't have said it better Krista.

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  18. Oh my god, I totally agree with this! You've stated it perfectly :)

    Arushee // Unadorned Gifts

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    1. Thanks Arushee! I'm glad you agree xx

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