Saturday, 23 August 2014

The One That Stays At Home


Tonight there was a party.  The pictures are all over instagram.  There's also a couple on snap chat.  Then there's another friend.  She's going to the movies, probably with some of my other friends.  Yesterday she went to the shops with more friends.  Other people had a sleepover just yesterday night.  I'm pretty sure they had one last weekend too.  In fact, I'm pretty sure there were another two big parties last weekend, and a birthday dinner too.

And then there's me.  Here I am.  I'm sitting at home watching TV, going on my laptop, doing my English assignment...  What I don't understand is how these people can meet up with friends so much, and why?  The last time someone came to my house was Tuesday.  The last time I went somewhere with my friends (not including organised activities) must've been not last weekend but the weekend before.  I don't even remember the last party I went to. 

I'm left with a sense of FOMO, a sense that I don't have enough fun.  Not as much fun as a lot of people in my grade anyway.  I get paranoid that everyone is out except for me, and I'm missing out on something, or I've just been uninvited.  One of my messages doesn't get 'delivered' and I automatically think they're out at the movies and I wasn't invited.

I don't know.  Maybe this is a side effect from my social isolation after being sick and not seeing anybody for 3 whole days.  I'm probably blowing the amount of 'fun' people are having out of proportion.  I should really be thinking about the 3 quarters of my grade that probably aren't doing anything tonight.  Someone went to buy sneakers, someone just posted something on their blog, someone just snap chatted me about chickens, someone sent me a Fifty Shades of Grey trailer adapted into Frozen.  There are obviously others who aren't partying right now either.  In fact, I believe the party's over.

You know what?  Why do I even care?  A lot of these people are simply acquaintances, not friends.  If I want to go out, well all I have to do is make plans.

Honestly, at the moment all I want is for this weekend to end.  I'm sick of being sick and I think I'm in need of some human face to face contact.

Now I'm going to pick up my phone and text whoever's texting me (they're obviously not partying), or maybe I'll call someone.

If you're reading this, I'm surprised you got through that load of rambling.

Love,
M

8 comments:

  1. Your writing skills are so good I'm speechless....:$

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    1. Aw thanks <3. Blogging seems to be therapeutic

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  2. You just summed up how I feel most weekends and on moderation day. I am surprised this is coming from you.

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    1. I'm pretty sure everybody feels like that sometimes, especially me on my bad days. Don't be surprised. Glad you could relate ;)

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  3. Don't worry about missing out the fun, you'll soon be experiencing it again. Just get well soon. :)

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    1. Thanks so much for that uplifting comment. You're making me feel much better already <3

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  4. I can not believe you just said every think in my head. Are you psychic????!!!!!!!!!!

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  5. It's easy to read through the "rambling" when it's so relatable. I stay in plenty too, and I used to feel weird about it, not because I wasn't enjoying alone time but because I thought it was strange that I was the only one of my friends that seemed to prefer not being around each other 24/7. Some times a Friday night just calls for some Netflix and dessert, ya know?

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